Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
