Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
dude. I can hear the air.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
