Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
