lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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