the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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