I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize