it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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