just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Say something about gay babies.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
