i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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