I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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