I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
