I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
