no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
