Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you had me at cake vodka
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also, beer. Big fan.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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