He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
