He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
