Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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