we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
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I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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