i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
