a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Damn victory sex feels great
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