sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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