he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
