Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
