A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
