Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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