I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Randomize
