Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
