Im at strip club and am horny
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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