Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
