I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
