you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
my poor anus
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
