i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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