I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
