im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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