Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize