We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize