We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
