he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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