Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
