yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
