I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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