At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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