there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Everclear isn't food dammit
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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