Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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