I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
