I have demons in me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
