The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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