hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
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Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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