don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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