Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
