That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
