anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Please don't give away my fajitas
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
