just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
