but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
