Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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