just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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