onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
