are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
His nipple licking is glorious
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