just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
