Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
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