dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize