Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
