WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
