So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
