I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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