Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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