fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it