Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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