ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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